Giving & Accountability
There are many teachings about giving as the Body of Christ as well as what that is and should look like. That is not what this blog is about, but I will say one thing concerning giving as a son/daughter of God. Giving is something that should be led by God and not be forced by compulsion and manipulation. There are lots of people and institutions that use scripture to manipulate people into giving to them. Unfortunately, this has caused many problems with the sons and daughters of God. No matter what anyone says to you, seek God first and do as He says. Do not feel guilty for not giving where He did not instruct. His opinion/instruction is the only thing that matters. When you get this revelation, you will know freedom.
Now on to the topic at hand… financial giving and accountability. Understanding giving (specifically financial giving) has been a progressive lesson God has taught me over the years. I, like so many, started with the desire to give, but I didn’t know what, where, how much, or when. So I began the search for knowledge and understanding. I had experienced the manipulations from others to give (“give and get blessed, don’t give and you will suffer lack, not giving is a sin, give 10% to a church institution to rightfully fulfill your tithing duty, a tithe must go to a ‘church’, and so many more"), and discovered that much or all of what was being said to manipulate was a perversion of the truth. I personally chose to seek God only concerning the matter, and I am so grateful I did. The freedom that came from knowing His desire concerning giving allowed me to not only shed any guilt that I had experienced in the past but also prevent me from accepting that same false guilt again.
In the beginning of this journey, God asked me to give a certain amount of money to a specific person. At the time, it was a lot of money for me. I didn’t have much and was just getting back on my feet after going through a divorce. I gave it anyway. More and more, I would ask God what to give, how much, where to give, etc., and faithfully He would lead me every time. It wasn’t the same every time. It wasn’t prescriptive. Some times it was different amounts, different people/places, some times the same person/place. As I continued to follow His leading, I had learned that I never felt any financial loss or lack, and all I had to do was be willing to follow His instruction. I was experiencing the scripture Psalm 37:25.
“Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread..” (NLT)
He gave me provision in spite of giving away some of the money I once held on to for my own financial security. As I was faithful, He was faithful to provide. As I stewarded the provision well and continued to give as he instructed, He began to move me from provision to prosperity. This process happened over years, and I have learned so much about Him and His wisdom along the way.
There came a time when He wanted me to give to a person/ministry regularly. This ministry and people became my friends, and we became involved in each others lives regularly. Giving to people I was growing a relationship with brought new feelings and lessons. I was excited to support them and was (still am) blessed to be a part of their walk with God. I let them know that God wanted me to give to them, but it was up to Him to decide what, when, and how much I should give. I wanted them to know that my support was as He directed only and that He could end the regular financial support at any time. They understood, and I did as well… or so I thought.
I was excited to support them, but I found myself analyzing theirs lives and decisions. Especially, where they spent money and on what. I would judge their decisions and often conclude that they were not stewarding the money well. So I began to question internally whether I should continue to support them. I struggled with this for a few months all the while sending them monthly support. For some reason (pride), I didn’t go to God about it right away. Instead, I had assumed that I knew what God wanted any inner dialogue held my belief as the standard. He wants us to be good stewards of His blessing, right? I wrestled with it in my mind and continued to come to the same conclusion… poor stewardship. When I finally went to God about it, His answer was simple. So simple that I couldn’t believe I had wasted time and energy on the matter at all. God asked me a few questions and my answers revealed to truth.
He asked me “Why do you support them?”.
“Because you instructed me to.” I said.
“So are you giving out of obedience to Me?”
“Yes, but I also enjoy supporting them.”
“If you are being obedient to Me, then what else matters more than that?”
I was at a loss for words. I knew exactly what He was saying. I was called to be obedient to Him. Why would I judge another person’s stewardship of the provision that He provided through me, and then suppose that I had a choice to stop supporting them. I didn’t begin supporting them out of my own desire or will. In fact, I barely knew them when I first started to support them. I had forgotten that my obligation is to Him alone. If He told me to give then I gave. If not, then I would have been disobedient which is sin… my sin not theirs. God didn’t stop at this revelation. He graciously gave me more understanding which actually brought compassion for the ones on which I was passing judgement.
My obligation was to Him, but so was theirs. God was providing support through me and they were receiving it from God through me. They had to come to the revelation that He was the provider and not me. If I was their provider, then their livelihood rested on the health/lack of our relationship. This could cause them to behave differently, cause them to be fearful, and ultimately create a master/slave dynamic. They were on a journey of obedience just as I was. They needed to learn who their provider was. They had to learn obedience and accountability to Him alone. He gives them the same grace to make mistakes as He gives to me. Of course He does! I knew this intellectually but why wasn’t I applying it in this situation?
Somewhere in my thinking, I was holding others to a higher standard than myself and would judge them by their mistakes/failures. It sounds so silly when I say it plainly, but I think many people fall prey to the same ideals. Most especially when it comes to money or material things. Perhaps it is pride and selfishness. Or perhaps it is because we (as Christians) were so groomed in dogmatic obedience that there is no practical room for grace. Or perhaps we see God as a perfectionist demanding nothing less than perfection from us… also leaving no room for grace. Or perhaps cognitive dissonance has set in, and we expect grace for ourselves but extend none for anyone else and call ourselves children of a gracious Father. No matter the root of the belief, it’s wrong.
The truth is that I, like everyone else, am called to follow Him alone. Anything past that is potentially sin. Instead of passing judgement on brothers and sisters that are simply trying to walk out obedience the best they know how, I should have talked to God about what I thought I was observing and ask for understanding. Humility would not have allowed me to pass judgement so quickly, but pride would (and did). So while I was miffed about someone else’s alleged sin, I was the one blindly in sin. What a lesson!
This lesson taught me a couple things, and their application extends past this situation. First, my obligation is to God above all. I should concern myself with what He is doing as it concerns myself and my walk with Him. Second, if I have questions about a person’s actions or behavior (especially if they are in the Body of Christ), I should go to God, and only God, first. I can’t imagine the destruction I could have caused the Kingdom if I had so pridefully halted support for a God-ordained ministry, because I believed that I knew what they ought to be doing with it. Knowing what I know now, the ripple effects of such an action would have been lasting and far reaching.
If there is anything I hope to be learned from this, it is that we as believes should, in humility, pause before judging another and ask God to give us understanding. He often gives us the understanding or knowledge that is needed and compassion comes with it.